


Thanks For The Memories

by FlowerButton



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Canonical Character Death, Gen, Memories, Regret
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-12-06
Updated: 2015-12-06
Packaged: 2018-05-05 07:51:02
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,086
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5367170
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/FlowerButton/pseuds/FlowerButton
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Peter Pettigrew remembers and regrets.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Thanks For The Memories

**Author's Note:**

> I always seem to write things at night!
> 
> This is a semi-character study of Peter Pettigrew, but mostly about what Peter must have felt after so many years. Yes, the title is after a Fall Out Boy song - I'm lazy with titles, I'm so sorry.
> 
> Have a lovely day!

Peter often wandered around the Potter’s house in London, the little one before Godric’s Hollow. It was quiet, and most of the time they stayed inside the living room so Peter took the time to explore the upstairs, the garden, the kitchen. Remus often joked that he preferred the house to them, and everyone laughed. This was during the time that everyone laughed.

Peter smiled at the memory as he pushed the creaky old door. The green paint had chipped off and the number ‘31’ had fallen wonkily. It was unlocked, like it had been all those years ago when Dumbledore had bustled them from the house, leaving Remus, Sirius and Peter there, crying with fear for their friend

“Take care,” Remus had told them before Dumbledore arrived. He was already on the brink of tears, and Peter felt a pang of sadness – Remus had only cried twice before, in all their years at Hogwarts: the first was when they had found out he was a werewolf and the second was when they left.

“We’ll be back before you know it,” James had laughed, scratching at the back of his head. Lily was packing extras of everything and Sirius was spinning Harry around like a plane. Peter stood idly by, helping Lily occasionally and jumping into James’ conversation.

“And then we can celebrate Christmas!” Sirius interjected and Harry babbled.

“Pa’oo! Pa’oo!” he said, pulling at Sirius’ hair. Lily smiled as she passed before plucking her son from his godfather’s hands.

“Padfoot won’t be around for a while,” she said to him and he frowned slightly. Sirius, baby-less, moved closer to Remus. “We’re going on a holiday, and then Padfoot will talk to us when we get back.”

“No Pa’oot?”

“No Padfoot,” Lily said, and Peter could see the tears beginning to form. She was scared, very scared, and James moved quickly to take his son. She turned away and busied herself with nappies.

“Can you say goodbye, Harry?” James asked, turning the child to the other three. Remus was biting his lip and wringing his hands – nerves, Peter knew. Fear.

Harry shook his head and reached for Sirius, who stepped back.

“No Pa’oot?” Harry said, his lip wobbling. Sirius shook his head.

“No Padfoot,” he repeated. Harry turned to Remus, who shook his head.

“Moo-ee?”

“No Moony,” Remus muttered, turning his head into Sirius’ shoulder. Peter watched as Sirius stroked his hair and Remus began to cry.

“Wormee?” Harry asked, and Peter’s eyes snapped back to the boy. His hair was jet black, his eyes were bright green and tears were trickling down his red cheeks. Peter didn’t know what to do.

“Wormy won’t be around either,” Peter said, gently taking the child from James, who moved to hug Remus goodbye. Lily had joined them and was sorting out Sirius’ clothes.

“No Wormee?”

“No Wormy.” Harry’s lip began to tremble but Peter held up a finger. The boy watched as he reached into his pocket and pulled out a small stuffed rat, no bigger than the palm of his hand.

“Wormee?”

“This is a Wormy to keep you company,” Peter said, tucking it into Harry’s chubby grip. “And…” He reached in again, smiling slightly at Harry’s avid attention to his hand. “These are a Moony and a Padfoot for you too.” He dropped a wolf and a dog in between him and Harry, who grabbed all three of them.

Lily sobbed and James pulled her close.

“No…No Prongs?” Sirius asked. Peter shrugged.

“He’s got one,” he said, looking directly at James. Lily moved to take her son, who didn’t complain at all, too interested in the small animals given to him. James moved forwards and hugged Peter close.

“You’re too good a person, Pete,” he whispered, and Peter held him tightly. Finally, he stepped back and rubbed the tears from his eyes.

Goodbyes were said and Dumbledore swept in like a storm, stern eyes holding mischief when he spoke to Harry. The three Marauders grouped together as the Potters went to Apparate, and Harry rubbed his eyes.

“Love oo, Wormy,” he mumbled, holding the rat in his hand as he dozed off in his mother’s arms. Then they were gone, a crack away, and Peter almost choked.

The memory stopped there, and Peter wandered out of the house, having stepped into every room. He’d paused at the living room, waiting for something – anything – to tell him that the past fifteen years had been a nightmare, that he wasn’t a traitor. That what he’d done wasn’t cowardly.

Maybe he had waited for James to run in from the kitchen and swing Harry around like a Quidditch player.

Maybe he had waited for Lily to wander in with her son, casually brewing a potion in a floating cauldron beside her.

Maybe he had waited for Sirius to come bounding in, Harry chasing him with a toy wooden sword.

Maybe he had waited for Remus to slip in, noticed by all except Harry, who would then jump at him with ease when he noticed.

Maybe he had waited for himself to walk in, a person who had just left Hogwarts and wasn’t scared. Who knew who his enemies were. Who picked Harry up when the boy got tired and sang him the lullabies his aunt had sung him. Who could not use Dark Magic with ease. Who had his friends beside him, who had a family he had built.

Wincing, he turned into the street and pulled the collar of his hood up. An old lady glanced at him and smiled, and he attempted to smile back but he found he couldn’t. Turning into a dark alley, Peter dropped behind a bin and closed his eyes. Breathing heavily, he looked down at his silver arm, brushing his fingers over its freezing metal. His stomach lurched as he saw a small girl walk past the alley, skipping in front of her mother. Quickly, he looked away and glared into the darkness at the other end.

He couldn’t be seen. The streets of Muggle London were crawling with undercover Death Eaters, and he couldn’t be seen. If he was...

He Apparated to the first place that came to mind – a small shop outside Hogsmeade. Someone gasped and he disappeared again, dropping himself off in a garden of an all too familiar place. He glanced up at the greying bricks and winding ivy and then dropped his gaze to the stones he had landed on.

'Here lie James and Lily Potter.'

**Author's Note:**

> I have a [tumblr!](http://the-grape-bowl.tumblr.com) so say hi!


End file.
